In the January 2026 issue of the Career Development Newsletter, I presented the following situation. Here are selected responses and excerpts, edited for space and clarity, followed by the real-life conclusion. (Please note that inclusion of responses should not be taken as an endorsement by the Society of Actuaries of the positions presented.)
Competing Offers
Achmed has been busily networking to find his next actuarial role. Along the line, he meets with Bryce, the chief actuary of a local company, even though they have no openings at the time. Bryce introduces him to their team, and Achmed is impressed with their operation.
A month later, Achmed receives an offer from Beautiful Life. It’s a good job but a notch below what he was hoping for in scope, title and salary. He attempts to negotiate but is told they have no room for movement on those. In addition, he will need to relocate his family to Beautiful Life’s location, although they will fully cover all expenses involved. After much thought, he decides that it’s close enough to what he really wants and accepts the offer. Relocation is scheduled to kick off on the following Monday.
The next day, Bryce calls him. It seems his appointed actuary has just resigned, and they both see Achmed as the person they want to replace him.
If you were Achmed, what would you do?
While 70% of respondents felt Achmed should definitely take up Bryce’s offer and give his regrets to Beautiful Life, there were several who felt he should not:
I would take the original job. There is a reason that God wants me to take the job at Beautiful Life and not Bryce’s company. Also, a job that looks like a dream job can turn into a nightmare.
The proverb “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush” seems to fit this situation. Just because both Achmed and Bryce think that the opportunity at Bryce’s company may be a good fit, it does not mean that an offer is assured. So, according to the proverb, it would not be wise for Achmed to give up what he already has for a less certain outcome.
Achmed appears to be a man of his word, that is until something better comes along. In days past, it would eventually get around that Achmed has a “flexible approach” to his commitments. And it would assuredly cast a shadow on his good reputation. Does accepting an offer with private and presumably unvoiced reservations (not enough dough) afford legitimate grounds to back out on the eve of relocation? Maybe. But I suppose it all depends on where you’re from and who raised you. Is Achmed a professional actuary or merely a gun for hire?
That last response raised the question of Achmed’s reputation, which was mentioned by a number of respondents. This one in particular had faced a similar situation in the past:
Considerations:
- At least a few folks in a relatively close-knit industry will know that Achmed’s word is worthless.
- The ball is in Beautiful Life’s court. I don’t know how many employers would force Achmed to come in that situation for fear he would be unhappy from the start and not totally committed. And who wants an employee who isn’t totally committed?
- Bryce would obviously be disappointed but would respect Achmed’s decision. Or he might try to convince Achmed to violate his word. Goodwill for Achmed or bad will for Bryce.
I faced a similar situation and did not have a written offer, just a verbal understanding. I didn’t consider the new opportunity at all; I chose the first because my word was my bond. I told the chief actuary with the new opportunity that I had recently accepted another offer in principle, and that if I would be willing to renege on that offer and accept his, I wouldn’t be the type of employee he would want to hire in the first place. Over the next few years, I came to understand that I grew greatly in stature that day in that chief actuary’s eyes.
Someone else who faced a similar situation felt Achmed’s better move is to take the new offer:
I was looking for work within a year after 9/11, and nothing was available in NYC. I started looking in other parts of the country and got three offers.
I turned down the first offer when the second one came in, because the second one was half as far away and offered more. I had already interviewed for what eventually became the third offer, but it had not yet come through when the second one required an answer. To play it safe, I accepted the second offer and started the relocation process. Then I got the third offer.
The third offer was even closer, more money and a better fit, but also required relocation. I needed to turn down the second offer after having already accepted it. Of course, the recruiter for the second job was not happy. She left it to me to call the hiring manager directly and tell her that I was rescinding my acceptance.
I never regretted the decision I made to do what was best for myself and my family, despite what may have been risky for my reputation and “brand.” This was before social media, so who knows if the consequences of such a decision would be different now that a disgruntled hiring manager could publicize such a move and call out the candidate for reversing a job acceptance?
One respondent felt it was best to rescind the Beautiful Life acceptance but not rush to take Bryce’s either:
Assuming there’s a discussion with Bryce and the role matches my aspirations, I’d review the Beautiful Life offer for any legal obligations if I change my mind. Assuming none, I’d contact Beautiful Life and tell them it’s in both our best interests to rescind my acceptance because I wouldn’t be giving them my best due to misalignment of personal aspirations. I’d apologize for misusing their resources due to my rushed decision to accept the role. Then I’d pursue the local position with Bryce without rushing to accept it. Proper fit over convenience, especially at this career stage.
The preceding response raised the point that Achmed might not give Beautiful Life his best, which was echoed by this actuary:
This is a bit dicey given the commitment Achmed has given Beautiful Life, but a life that is second choice is no life at all. If he goes to Beautiful Life, he will be undermotivated and will not give his new employer the best that he has to offer. Moreover, Beautiful Life made clear their view of Achmed with their refusal to meet the working conditions that he would need to feel valued. Just filling a slot in an organization chart would be dispiriting.
Achmed should profusely thank Beautiful Life, tactfully telling them that he has received a last-minute offer in line with his needs. He should apologize for the inconvenience and join Bryce. No one would benefit from a righteous integrity that doesn’t give Beautiful Life the motivated officer it needs, nor give Achmed the recognition that he deserves.
And this one as well:
The Beautiful Life offer feels like “settling.” Achmed isn’t exactly getting what he wants and faces a lot of personal disruption to not get it. If there are no other clear options on the table, it makes sense to give Bryce’s opportunity a try. By doing this, there are potential hard feelings—Achmed probably won’t have an opportunity at Beautiful Life in the future.
There’s a risk here that the job with Bryce falls through (there’s nothing in writing and details sound scant). It’s a risk, but likely worth taking to get a job that Achmed would otherwise possibly always think of as the one that got away.
This actuary also saw Beautiful Life’s refusal to negotiate as relevant:
Achmed made it clear during the discussions with Beautiful Life that he was looking for a higher-level role, and they made it clear that wasn’t a possibility. While the timing is unfortunate and he will likely burn a bridge for working at Beautiful Life in the future, the opportunity is too good to pass up.
Another saw the need for relocation as particularly relevant:
If kids are involved, maintaining a school and friendships would be a significant priority, so avoiding relocation should be a strong motivator in Achmed’s decision. Moving into a role that is a great fit with a strong team and culture is also going to provide much stronger career development in the long term. Even though it would be uncomfortable to inform Beautiful Life and it may sour relationships, hopefully they would understand why Achmed has to go back on his agreement the day after he signed the offer.
Discomfort alone shouldn’t justify passing up an opportunity that is better for both your family and your career in the long term. At the end of the day, everyone needs to make career decisions that are the best for them, and all you can do is be respectful about how you communicate the decisions you feel you need to make.
These actuaries talked about Beautiful Life’s perspective:
Employers understand the competitive nature of landing the best employees. As long as Beautiful Life has not already paid out anything to Achmed, and because the new offer came so close to the acceptance of their offer, Achmed should move toward the job that best fits his career goals. Beautiful Life may be disappointed or even a bit annoyed, but they won’t have lost any money or significant time in their search.
With my employer hat on, it is very frustrating when someone accepts an offer and then backs out before they start. With that said, this happens, and it’s better if it happens before they start than after we have invested time and money bringing them on board—and in this case, a relocation.
Finally, this actuary did a good job of concisely laying out the pros and cons:
Life can often present opportunities at the seemingly worst time. The first thing for Achmed is to understand that this is a legitimate choice and to seriously consider it. He should also realize that this is less of a choice between two equal opportunities. We know he likely will favor the offer from Bryce, if he receives it, for multiple reasons. This is a choice between sticking to a prior commitment he made or potentially breaking it.
To see it that way, it comes down to pros and cons:
- He should consider the reputational damage he could cause at Beautiful Life by declining after accepting vs. the quality of life in terms of staying where he is with his family.
- He should consider how he views this will impact his own brand or integrity.
- Last, he should think about how he will feel in six months if he stays with Beautiful Life because he doesn’t want to break his word. They say the things you regret the most in life are the chances you never take, and that may be true here.
Achmed should talk with Bryce openly and honestly to see if they could interview and make an offer quickly. It would be a rough phone call with Beautiful Life and perhaps some lingering bad feelings, but in six months Achmed would know he made the right decision. I don’t think he would feel that way at Beautiful Life, despite the name.
What Actually Happened?
Achmed met with Bryce right away and was offered a job at the level he wanted, at a 30% increase over Beautiful Life’s offer and with no need to relocate. He accepted and immediately called the hiring manager at Beautiful Life to explain the situation. She told him that while she was disappointed, she understood, and wished him well.
Achmed excelled in his role with Bryce’s operation and stayed there through retirement.
This article is provided for informational and educational purposes only. Neither the Society of Actuaries nor the respective authors’ employers make any endorsement, representation or guarantee with regard to any content, and disclaim any liability in connection with the use or misuse of any information provided herein. This article should not be construed as professional or financial advice. Statements of fact and opinions expressed herein are those of the individual authors and are not necessarily those of the Society of Actuaries or the respective authors’ employers.
John Hadley was an FSA for many years and now works with job seekers frustrated with their search. He can be reached at John@JHACareers.com, 908-725-2437 or via LinkedIn. Find his free Career Tips newsletter and other resources at www.JHACareers.com.